Lithium
by Aoki Green
Summary: Kai is suffering from depression. Miyavi and the band are trying to help him through it. But did their help come too late? ... MiyavixKai
1. Chapter 1

Flashes. Flashes were everywhere as people took pictures of the couple. It was Miyavi and Kai's anniversary and their friends had decided to hold a party for them. Kai held on to Miyavi's arm, both of them smiling and posing for the camera. Everyone was dressed for the occasion, the couple themselves wearing suits. Typically they didn't go for this kind of thing, but Kai had thought it would be fun to dress up a bit. And Miyavi had been more than happy to oblige. Anything to make his _itoshii hito _happy. After all, this was one of the last nights he had with him before his four month tour started. And as always he was determined to spend as much time with his family as possible.

Kai on the other hand, was not feeling so determined. As he planted a kiss on his grinning husbands cheek, he thought about how he wanted nothing more than to get away, to go hide in his room. Away from his friends and fans. Away from Miyavi. It wasn't that anyone had said or done anything, Kai just wasn't in the mood the mood to deal with anyone.

He'd been feeling so depressed lately. The fun and excitement of being in a band and being married to the famous and sexy Miyavi that he had felt just months ago was no where to be found.

Kai felt tears building up in his eyes, and he willed them to go away. He was not going to cry in front of all these people. Not when they're all having such a good time. Miyavi glanced over at him, and he could immediately tell something was wrong. His smile disappeared.

He had caught the drummer a few times crying when he thought no one was around. He begged and pleaded for him to tell him what was wrong. But each time Kai refused. And not because he didn't want to tell him, but because he truthfully had no idea what was causing it.

Miyavi lead him away from the crowd and over to the corner.

"What's the matter?" he asked softly, a worried expression on his face. Kai looked down. He hated making his husband worry. Especially before a tour.

"What do you mean?" he asked back, trying to play dumb. "Nothing's wrong."

"Please don't lie to me…you're crying again. Obviously something's bothering you."

"I'm not crying. They're just watering because of allergies. It's nothing." He faked a smile.

"Was it something I did?"

He sighed. This was why he didn't ever talk to Miyavi when something was bothering him. The man automatically assumed it was his fault and beat himself up over it. Kai hated that.

Putting his hands on both sides of his face, and looking into his eyes he insisted, "There. Is. Nothing. Wrong. Now come on, people are looking for us. Lets get back to the party."

"Okay," said Miyavi, still not believing him. Kai planted a quick kiss on his lips and led them back to their party.

XxxxXxxxXxxxXxxx

Hours later an exhausted Kai went to check on Aiko. He walked towards the crib quietly, careful not to wake her up. He looked down at his sleeping angel, but did not smile. That was one of the first things that made Kai think something was wrong. Aiko never failed to make him smile, to make him happy as soon as he laid eyes on her. It had been that way ever since they day he and Miyavi adopted her. But lately, there had been nothing. No emotion what so ever towards the baby. He found himself sometimes not wanting to even take care of her. It broke his heart. Sighing, he pulled Aiko's blanket up a little more.

Then he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist. "Have I told you, you look amazing," Miyavi whispered in his ear. Kai chuckled.

"Only a thousand times," he whispered back, as he felt his hand slowly slide up his shirt.

"Not nearly enough," he replied as he scooped him up into his arms. Kai giggled as he was carried to their bedroom.

Not even bothering to close the door behind them, Miyavi plopped Kai down on the bed. Kai grinned and grabbed Miyavi's tie, yanking him closer.

"Kimi ga hoshii yo."

Miyavi chuckled lightly and kissed him, his hands already getting rid of Kai's clothes. "as if that's not obvious."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2! Finally had time to write it, even if it is like four in the morning o.o  
>Annnyyywaaays, enjoy :)<strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own the GazettE or Miyavi (oh how I wish I did D:) I only own lil Aiko**

****

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since Miyavi left for his tour, and things were not going good in his absence. In those fourteen days Kai had started getting worse. The sadness he felt was almost a constant thing now. There were no brief periods of happiness like there had been before. He didn't have the energy, or the will, to do much of anything. Most of the time he just sat there in silence, staring blankly at whatever was in front of him, ignoring everything around him.

A loud cry cut through the silence. Kai didn't even flinch. He just sat on the couch hugging his knees and staring into space. It was like he didn't even register the fact that his child was crying for him. The crying increased in volume and the drummer glanced in the direction of the nursery, but made no move to get up. He just didn't have the will to go see her. Tears started forming in his eyes for the umpteenth time that day. What was wrong with him?

He can't eat. He can't sleep even though he's exhausted most of the time. He can't even take care of his child! His interest in music has all but vanished. He'd skipped practice for a week and a half. All calls and messages from Miyavi were ignored. As were Ruki and Uruha's.

When Reita and Aoi came over to his house to see if he was okay, he just locked the door and shut the blinds. Then waited for them to finally give up and go away. He knew they were worried about him, but he just didn't care.

Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door. "Kai! Open up!" It was Ruki.

He didn't have the energy to reply.

"Kai!"

Nothing.

"Miyavi told me where the extra key is. I'm coming in."

Without waiting for a reply, because for some reason he knew he wouldn't get one, he unlocked the door and walked inside. The first thing he noticed was Aiko's loud wails coming from down the hall, and it made him worried. Aiko never cried like that unless she was ignored, which never happened when Kai was with her.

The second thing was that the house was a complete mess. It looked like it hadn't been cleaned in a few weeks. And considering the house was inhabited by two neat freaks it was rather concerning.

And the third, most worrisome thing, was an obviously upset Kai, sobbing on the couch. Ruki dropped the bag he held in his hand and rushed over to him. He sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Kai?"

He flinched away from the blonde.

"What is it? You're worrying me," he said with concern in his voice.

But he still got no answer.

"Come on, talk to me. Please?"

Kai shook his head and buried his face in his knees. Ruki sighed and withdrew his hand. "If you're going to ignore me, that's fine. But at least stop ignoring Aiko-chan, she needs you."

"N-No…"

It came out as a whisper but Ruki caught it. "What do you mean no? She's been crying for what I can assume to be a while now. She definitely needs you for something."

"No she doesn't…..she doesn't need….someone like me…" and with that said he cried harder. Ruki didn't know how to respond. What did he mean by 'someone like him'? Did he think he was bad a person? "What do you mean someone like you?" Kai didn't answer. He was back to ignoring everything and everyone. Ruki sighed and got up from the couch, then walked back to take care of Aiko since Kai wasn't going to do it.

XxxxXXXxxxxXXXxxx

A little while later after Ruki managed to get Aiko taken care of, he went back to the living room and found Kai in the exact same spot he left him. He hadn't moved at all. But at least he'd stopped crying. He sat next to him again. "Are you ready to talk yet?"

**End chapter 2**

**sorry it's so short, and that it's not as good as the first chapter, next chapter will hopefully be a long one...and a better one**

**REVIEW! It will make me happy :3**


	3. Chapter 3

**Finally have the oomph to write and update this story. I wrote it in about thirty minutes so I'm sorry if it seems kind of rushed. My friend was rushing me to update -_- Anyways, enjoy!**

**...**

Two hours later and Ruki still hadn't gotten anywhere with Kai. He remained unresponsive. With a sigh he stood up and headed into the kitchen, pulling out his cell phone. Leaning against the counter he dialed Reita's number.

'_Ruki?'_

"Hey...I've got some bad news.,."

'_What's wrong? Is Kai okay?'_

Ruki sighed again. "No, he's not. I don't know what's wrong with him, but it scares me. I've never seen him like this before. It's...it's like he's a zombie, Rei."

There was a pause on the other line. _'He's like a zombie?'_

"The whole time I've been here he's just been sitting on the couch staring at the wall. He doesn't talk, he doesn't move. The only thing he's done is cry. He wouldn't even get up to take care of Aiko!"

'_Maybe he's depressed?'_

"It seems like it. But wouldn't we have noticed it by now?"

'_Who knows, he's good at hiding things. He probably didn't want anyone to worry about him.'_

"Yeah, that sounds like him..,.."

'_So...what are we going to do?'_

"Huh?"

'_About Kai. If he's as bad as you say he is we can't leave him alone. And we definitely can't leave Aiko with him, he can't take care of himself much less a baby.'_

"I can stay here with him, but I think it would be best to get Aiko out of the house for a while. If she see's Kai she's not going to understand why her mommy doesn't want her right now."

'_Whose going to take care of her, Uruha and Aoi?'_

"Well no, they have their hands full with Hiroki. You can watch her."

'_M-Me? Ruki, I don't think-'_

"You'll be fine, she's a good baby. I'll drop her off in a few."

"_Wha- no, I-"_

"Bye~"

Ruki hung up the phone and walked back towards Aiko's nursery, glancing at Kai who was continuing his staring contest with the wall. Stepping into the pink room he was met with unhappy sounds from the crib. Aiko stood at the side gripping the bars, her face scrunched up in annoyance. He smiled and walked towards her. "Hey there," he said picking her up. "Bah!" she smacked his chest with her tiny fist. He chuckled. "Still in a bad mood I see." He walked over and picked up a duffle bag, then began to pack her stuff.

"You're going to go stay with Uncle Reita for a while."

"Nah!" she squirmed, seemingly unhappy with what her Uncle Ruki had just said. "I know it sounds bad, but I'm sure you two will have fun together." Once he finished packing her things he walked back out to the living room. Just as he was about to leave the house Aiko caught sight of Kai and reached for him, a bright smile on her face. "Ma!" she cried out. Kai's turned his head in her direction, glancing at them for a minute before turning away. Aiko stared, confused. Her mother had never ignored her.

"Ma…ma?" she whimpered.

Ruki quickly turned her away and opened the door. "Alright, time to go. We'll see mommy later." He walked outside just as Aiko began wailing again. He sighed. It was going to be a long ride to his and Reita's house.

XxxXXXxxxXXxxx

Ruki pulled up in front of his and Reita's house about forty five minutes later. Forty five screaming and crying filled minutes later. He got out of the car and took Aiko and her things into the house. "Rei! I'm back!" he called as he shut the door. Slowly the blonde man made his way into the room, obviously not excited to see his lover.

Hurriedly Ruki walked over and practically shoved the still screaming infant into Reita's arms.

"Here, try to calm her down. I have to get back to Kai. Call you later." and with that the shorter blonde left, leaving the bassist alone with Aiko. Reita sighed and looked down at her.

"Well kid, it's just you and me."

The little girl just screamed louder and started flailing in his arms. "Clearly your just as excited about this as I am," he mumbled.

XxxXXXxxxXXX

Ruki arrived back at the Kai's house and rushed inside. He had been fretting the whole time about leaving the drummer alone. "Kai!" he called out as he walked inside. There was no answer, not that he had been expecting one. He stepped into the living room, expecting the see the dark-haired man sitting there where he had left him, but he was gone. The vocalist began to panic.

"Kai!" he called again running through the house searching. He checked every room but there was no sign of him. He decided to check outside. Just as he was about to run downstairs a soft sob caught his attention. He froze and looked in the direction it came from. The hall closet. He stepped over to it and opened the door, not prepared for what he saw.

Kai sat in the farthest corner, far more upset than he had been earlier. But that wasn't the worst part. A bloody razor blade lay at his feet, and a huge, deep cut was clearly visible across his thin wrist. Blood poured from the self inflicted injury.

The drummer looked up at him with red, puffy eyes. "I'm sorry…." he choked out.

Ruki didn't know what to say.

...

**End! :D**

**Read an Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Whooooo! I'm on a roll tonight. Second chapter in two hours. I hope you like it (and by you I mean Miku-Miku since I think your the only one reading this ._.) Enjoy~**

**...**

Ruki stared for a minute, and started panicking. He rushed foreword and grabbed the an old shirt laying on the floor wrapping it around Kai's wrist trying to stop the bleeding. "Idiot! Why would you do something like this!" he hissed angrily pulling the drummer to his feet. "I'm sorry…" Kai whimpered, bowing his head and staring at the floor. Ruki felt some of his anger draining away. He couldn't be mad at him right now. He sighed and led him to the bathroom, sitting him down on the toilet lid. "It's alright, don't worry about it."

He rummaged through the cabinets looking for first aid supplies. He pulled out a bottle of peroxide and some bandages, then set to work on stopping the blood flow. Kai was silent the whole time, except for the occasional sniffle, and kept his gaze to the floor. When it had finally stopped bleeding he poured some peroxide on rag and started cleaning it. Kai flinched and jerked his arm back. "I'm sorry, but I have clean it out." He pulled Kai's hand back towards him and finished cleaning and bandaging it.

"There, all done," he breathed.

Kai set his hand down on his lap and continued staring at the floor, not wanting to meet Ruki's eyes. The vocalist crouched down in front of him. "Why did you do this?" he asked quietly. Kai didn't reply. "Please, talk to me Kai. I'm worried." He shook his head and shrunk back from the blonde.

"I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

Silence….

Ruki sighed and stood up, pulling Kai up with him. "Come on, lets go to your room." Nodding slowly, Kai let Ruki lead him to his bedroom and sit him down on the bed. "Why don't you get some sleep, you look exhausted…" The drummer laid down and let Ruki cover him up, already starting to doze off. The days of no sleep finally catching up to him. Ruki stayed until he was sure Kai was asleep then quietly exited the room, pulling out his cell phone.

He leaned against the wall and dialed Miyavi's number, then waited for the man to pick up. It went to voicemail after a while. Sighing angrily he dialed the number and waited, only for it to go to voicemail again. He repeated the process two more times.

The fifth time it went to voicemail he left a message.

"Miyavi, answer your god damned phone! You need to come home now. Kai isn't doing good and you need to get here before something else happens." He shoved his phone back in his pocket and made his way into the living room, plopping down onto the couch. He buried his face in his hands and sighed. Why was this happening?

XxxxXXXxxxXXXxx

Reita groaned as the loud cries started up yet again. Didn't this kid ever shut up? He was starting to think all the things Ruki and Uruha said about Aiko was a bunch of bullshit. She wasn't a good baby….she was a loud, annoying, intolerable baby who never stopped crying. Slowly he made his way into the living room to find the infant kicking and screaming on the couch. He picked her up and bounced her gently, trying to calm her down.

"What's wrong now?" he whined. "You were calm a few minutes ago."

He tried everything to get her to stop crying but nothing seemed to work. She wasn't hungry, she didn't need her diaper changed, she wasn't hurt. It seemed like she was crying for no reason at all. Finally, after almost twenty minutes, she seemed to calm down. He sighed in relief. "Finally," he mumbled. But his relief was cut short as she started gagging. He froze and looked down at her.

She continued gagging and Reita began to get worried. It sounded like she was choking. Hurriedly he made his way to the phone to call someone when all of sudden, "Bleh!"

She threw up, all over the floor….and on his arm

"…"

XXXXxxxxXXXxxx

Kai awoke the next day to a dull ache in his wrist. He slowly pulled his arm up to look at it and saw the bandages wrapped tightly around his wrist. He was confused for a moment before the memories of yesterday started coming back to him. He flinched. How could he have been so stupid yesterday? What made him do that?

Slowly he pushed himself out of bed and made his way downstairs. Ruki was already up and making breakfast. He stood quietly at the entrance of the kitchen and waited for the vocalist to notice his presence. The blonde turned around a few moments later and jumped a little when he saw the drummer standing there. "Kai, you're awake." Kai nodded slightly, a tiny, forced smile appearing on his face. "Yeah…ohayou…."

"How are you feeling?" Ruki asked.

The dark haired man was silent for a moment before answering. "A little better…" Ruki smiled slightly. "That's good."

"Yeah…."

Kai made his way to the table and sat down. "I'm making breakfast, you want some?" Kai shook his head. "I'm not hungry…" Ruki frowned but nodded. "okay…." he said. He could see Kai was getting skinny. He probably hadn't eaten much of anything lately. But he wasn't going to push him. He didn't want to upset him.

The blonde sat down across from him, trying to think of something to say. "So…" he began, but was interrupted. "Aiko.." Kai mumbled,

"Hm?"

The drummer looked up, a worried expression appearing on his face. "Aiko…I didn't hear her this morning…where is she?"

"She's with Reita, don't worry."

"Reita? Why is she there? Does he even know how to take care of a kid? I-"

"Kai! Calm down. She's with Reita because you can't take care of her right now. She'll be back home as soon as Miyavi gets here." Kai frowned. "I think I can take care of my own child-" "You can barely take care of yourself!" Ruki exclaimed loudly, making Kai flinch. "You don't sleep, you don't eat, the house is a mess, you ignored her all day yesterday, even when she was screaming for you."

"I….I ignored her?" a horrified look appeared on his face.

"Yes, she was crying for hours, and you just ignored it. You wouldn't even look at her when I took her to my and Reita's house."

He looked down. How could he have acted that way towards his own child? What had she done to make him treat her like that? He felt tears forming in his eyes. He was a horrible parent. He didn't deserve her. Ruki put a hand on his shoulder. "I know what you're thinking, so stop it. It's not true, you're just going through a rough time right now. Thing's will get better." There was a silence before he responded. "But…But what if they don't?…"

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxx

Reita paced nervously back and forth with Aiko in his arms, waiting for Aoi to pick up the phone. He had tried calling Miyavi and Ruki but neither one had answered. The infant whimpered, pressing closer to him. Coughs shook her tiny frame. She gripped Reita's t-shirt tightly and made a pained sound.

"I know, I know, but I don't know what to do for you."

Finally the guitarist answered. _'Hello?' _he said in a tired voice.

"Aoi! I need your help."

'_What? What's wrong? Is everything okay?'_ he asked in a worried tone when he noticed the note of panic in Reita's voice.

"It's Aiko, she's really sick and I have no idea what to do."

'_umm….why is Aiko with you?'_

"Because Kai can't take care of her, he's not doing too good right now. So Ruki told me to watch her while he takes care of Kai."

'_Well what's wrong with Kai? Is he doing okay? Is-"_

"Aoi! Would you just help me with Aiko. I can fill you in on Kai later but right now I need to know what to do!"

'_I'll be right over. Just let me wake up Uruha and tell him to watch Hiroki.'_

"Kay, thanks…"

'_No problem. See you soon.'_

Reita sighed as he hung up the phone and went back to comforting Aiko. Well, attempting to comfort her. Nothing was calming her down. Another coughing fit started, worse than the others.

He hoped Aoi got here soon….


	5. Chapter 5

**Finally, an update! Mainly because I was forced against my will to write one today (cough *uruha* cough _) Anyways, enjoy!**

XXBeijing, ChinaXX

"Good job tonight, Miyavi-san," a woman said as she walked by.

"Awesome show," another man said.

Most of the staff members said something like this as Miyavi walked by them to get to his dressing room. Not that he cared at the moment. He was exhausted and all he wanted to do was go back to his hotel and get what little sleep he could before he had to get up and leave for the next stop on the tour. Yanking open the door he went inside and collapsed into his chair, sighing softly.

"I wonder what Kai's doing right now…." he thought aloud.

He hadn't heard from his husband since he left, which wasn't normal. When one of the them went on tour they made an effort to talk to each other every night. They didn't like being apart, especially Kai. So to not here from him this long was really starting to worry him. He reached over to the table and picked up his phone. It read five missed calls, one voicemail.

Calling his voicemail he put it to his ear

'_Miyavi, answer your god damned phone! You need to come home now. Kai isn't doing good and you need to get here before something else happens!'_

His eyes widened. What was wrong with Kai? Was he sick, did he get hurt? Did something happen to Aiko? Trying to stay calm he dialed Ruki's number and waited anxiously for him to answer After what seemed like forever he finally picked up.

'_So you finally decided to check your phone, eh?'_

XxXx With Ruki xXxX

"But….But what if they don't?…"

Ruki was silent. What was he supposed to say? Kai had a point. What if things really didn't get better, or they got worse? What if something really bad happened next time?….No…he couldn't think like that. Kai would be okay. He just needed some help. Everything would be back to normal one day. But still, a small part of him couldn't help but think 'what if'?

The ringing of his phone brought him out of his thoughts. He pulled it out to see who it was, half expecting it to be Reita complaining about being stuck with a kid. But to his surprise it was Miyavi. He stood from his seat, telling Kai he would be right back, and went into the living room.

"So you finally decided to check your phone, eh?" he asked in an annoyed tone.

'_I've been busy, I haven't had the chance to!'_

"Mhmm…"

'_Whatever, be angry. Just tell me what's going on.'_

"Kai is depressed. You need to get back here now."

'_Depressed?'_

"Yes, depressed. You know, depressed as in sad, crying all the time, not able to function right anymore, not even able to take care of your guy's daughter anymore."

'…' There was a pause on the other line. _'H-How is he now?'_

Ruki sighed. "At the moment, he's really bad. He's not sleeping, he's not eating, he just sits there and stares into space or cries mostly, and he completely stopped taking care of Aiko. I'm glad I got here when I did…"

'_She's okay, right? Nothing bad happened to her?' _he didn't know if he could handle something bad happening to her. It was bad enough hearing that Kai was in such bad shape…

"As far as I know she's fine. Reita's taking care of her. I thought it would be best to get her out of the house for a while."

'_Yeah, that was probably for the best…is there…anything else that happened?'_

Ruki was silent for a moment. Of course there was something else, there was the incident from last night. But how was he supposed to tell Miyavi his husband was possibly suicidal?

'_Ruki!'_

The vocalist sighed. "I don't think it's safe to leave him alone….I..I think he tried to kill himself last night.."

Complete silence on the other line. Miyavi didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to think. How could this of happened? When he left Kai had said he was okay, he was just stressed and everything would be okay. How could things have gotten this bad?

"Miyavi…are you there? Miyavi!"

'_Y-Yeah….I'm here. I'll…I'll be home as soon as I can. Take care of him until I get there, will ya?'_

"yeah, will do. I'll be here."

'_Thanks…' _he hung up.

XxXx With Miyavi xXxX

The cell phone fell from his hand and hit the floor. He buried his face in his hands, and, for the first time in he didn't know how long…he cried.

The dressing room door opened his manager walked in. "Miyavi~ I was just informed that you'll be-" he paused when he saw the singer crying. "Eh, what's wrong? Did something happen?" Miyavi glanced up. "Cancel the rest of the tour…"

"What! Why! You have-"

"I said cancel the tour! I'm going back home."

"But your fans. What are they going to say when you don't show up?"

"I have more important things to worry about then what some people I don't even know are going to say. Just. Cancel. The. Tour."

His manager sighed. "Fine, consider it done." he walked out of the room, pulling out his cell phone. No doubt calling all the venues Miyavi was supposed to appear at. When he disappeared down the hall Miyavi stood, wiping his eyes and went over to his computer. He needed to book a ticket to Japan.

- With Reita and Aoi -

"Tell me again why Ruki left you alone with a kid?" Aoi asked, an amused smile on his face, as he rocked Aiko to sleep. He had arrived here an hour ago to find Reita panicking and trying to take care of her (the wrong way he might add).

"The hell should I know? He just said I needed to take care of her and brought her over."

"Language!" Aoi scolded.

"She's falling asleep. She probably didn't even hear-" But a glare directed at him shut the bassist up. He should have known better. When it comes to children, it's best to just do what he says. It was kind of dangerous to make him angry, what his maternal instincts and all. He sighed.

"Ok, ok. I'm sorry."

"Mhmm…..so you never told me what was up with Kai."

"I don't know much. I haven't talked to Ruki yet today. But from what I've heard was depressed."

"Depressed?"

"Yeah. According to Ruki he really doesn't do much besides cry. He wouldn't even take care of Aiko, or himself for that matter. Ruki was scared to leave him alone, so he's staying over there…"

Aoi was silent for a moment. "But…wouldn't we have noticed sooner? I mean, if it's this bad he must have been depressed for a while now.."

"Who knows. He's good at hiding things. He probably just didn't want anyone to worry about him, you know how he is."

Aoi nodded. Kai had always been like that. He had no problem being concerned for others but he never wanted anyone to worry about him. He didn't think he was important enough to be worried about. Aoi sighed. "Sometimes I wish he wouldn't be like that though…."

**End!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm baaaack :D It's been a while since I've updated. Mainly because I kind of lost the will to write (because I thought my stories were kind of...bad ._.) But the review from XxXMiyavisHeartXxX got me back into the spirit of writing ^^ So thank you dear~ I apologize if it's waaaay to short or seems kind of rushed, I'm trying to hurry up and type this before I have to leave for the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn. I promise the next chapters will be better D:  
><strong>

**Enjoy!  
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It was midnight when the front door of the Ishihara household slammed open and a frazzled looking Miyavi rushed inside. It had been a long day full of worrying, stress, and stupid Chinese security workers at the Beijing airport, and he was glad he had finally made it home. Upstairs a light flicked on and someone came down the stairs quickly. "Who the hell-….Miyavi! You're back already?" Ruki asked, surprised. He had told the other he needed to come home immediately but he hadn't expected him so soon. "Of course! I got here as soon as I could," he said setting his bags down and closing the door. "How's Kai?" he asked anxiously.

"The same," Ruki answered sadly, "he's upstairs right now, you should go and see him." Miyavi nodded and headed to the stairs. "You can stay the night if you don't feel like driving back this late," he called over his shoulder as he went up. "Thanks but I should be going, have to see how Reita's doing. I'll swing by and bring Aiko home in the morning." "Alright…" Ruki turned to leave. Miyavi stopped at the top of the stairs, turning around to look at his friend.

"Oh, and Ruki.."

He stopped. "Hm?"

"Thanks….for taking care of him when I was here." He was grateful he and Kai had such great friends. He didn't want to think of what could have happened if no one had been around.

The vocalist smiled. "Of course. That's what's friends are for." Miyavi smiled back a little, then continued on his way to the bedroom. The door was cracked and the light was still on, Kai must be awake still. Slowly he opened the door and stepped inside. Kai sat on the end of the bed, not really paying attention to anything around him, just staring off into space.

"Tadaima." he said quietly. Kai jumped, turning his head toward the door. "M-Miyavi?" Kai whispered, eyes wide. Miyavi grinned. "The one and only~." The taller male shut the door behind him and walked over to the bed. Sitting down next to drummer he pulled him into his arms. "Miss me?" he asked, holding him tightly. Kai was silent for a moment, then he wrapped his arms around Miyavi, clinging to him. "A-A lot," he answered softly, burying his face in his chest. "But what are you doing home? Your tour-"

"I cancelled the rest of it."

Kai looked up at him, a look of disbelief on his face. "Why would you do that?"

"Because, I had to get home to you."

"Oh," he mumbled looking down. Ruki must have called him and told him everything. It was his all fault. Miyavi had to cancel his tour because of him. He could feel tears building up in his eyes. Why was he always such a bother?

Miyavi frowned when he noticed Kai starting to cry. "What's wrong, koishii?" he asked, wiping his tears away. "I'm sorry…." The tattooed man blinked. "For what? You haven't done anything." Kai shook his head. "It's my fault you had to cancel. I-" "Hush, it's not your fault, stop blaming yourself," Miyavi interrupted. "You're more important to me than some tour. Just don't worry about it, okay?" The drummer nodded slowly, still not believing him. "Ok," he said quietly.

An hour later the two of them had settled into bed. Kai had fallen asleep immediately. Miyavi could tell he hadn't been sleeping much. The taller male laid next to him, arms wrapped around the other, a smile on his face. He had only been gone a few weeks, but it had felt like an eternity. Truthfully, he was glad to be home early. He just wished it was for a different reason.

**End**

**Reviews are appreciated :D  
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	7. Author Note

Hello~ I'm sorry I haven't updated this story for so long. I've been pretty busy over the past few months. But now that I have more free time I'll be writing chapters for this story again ^_^. Chapters seven and eight will be posted later today or by Sunday night at the latest, so look out for them. And once again, sorry for the delay ^^". -Aoki 


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